Member-only story
Hi, I’m Ricknotfredrick
My name is Rick. At least that’s how friends and family and coworkers know me, and it’s on the cover of my novel (did I mention I have a new novel out?) But the name on my birth certificate is Fredrick. I was named after my dad, who went by “Fred,” so my family called me Rick. I barely dodged being “Fred Jr.”
Nobody who knows me personally calls me Fredrick, but since it is my legal name, I must use it in many situations. At the doctor’s office, on my driver’s license or on credit cards and airline reservations, I’m Fredrick.
But that doesn’t mean you should call me “Fredrick.”
Yet people who don’t know me call me by that name often, and they seem to think they’re doing me a favor. They’re “personalizing” the contact. It’s your turn at the dentist, Fredrick, or hello, may I speak to Fredrick? or here’s an email for our valued customer, Fredrick. But calling me by my legal name rather than the name my friends and family use simply highlights the fact that you aren’t friend or family. It depersonalizes. It backfires.
I used to simply offer my nickname as a correction: “I actually go by ‘Rick.’ ” But that is just an invitation for them to use “Rick” as if they actually know me well. The problem remains that they don’t, and they shouldn’t try to pretend they do in the first place or force the issue.
